New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
