if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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