The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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