I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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