Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
