That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
