My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
