Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
