Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
