I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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