I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
