What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
