Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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