I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
