So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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