): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
