What did we do last night that was yellow?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
