I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
