Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You pole danced in your parka.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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