Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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