I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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