Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
