thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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