I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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