Whod you bang
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
