R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
