WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
