I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
