Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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