I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
