there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
