I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
