oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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