i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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