Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
