You made me cry and you don't even care
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
