dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
