bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
