you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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