tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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