I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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