So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
