woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
