I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
