Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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