I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also, beer. Big fan.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
