Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
