Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
