their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
