Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
