I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
