Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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