You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
